EXTRACT FOR
Beyond Regret
(Author Unknown)

Chapter 1 



    Just as Laura raised her glass, Bill's jaw dropped when the young blonde strolled past their table.

    My God!

    Samantha?

    His thoughts immediately went into full-blown chaos.

    The music thumping from the juke had ebbed into a soft, nearly inaudible whisper that seemed to be coming from some faraway place. The laughter and chatter from the bar also diminished in volume. The clinking of glasses all around them faded into nothingness. Every sound he had heard during the last half hour had been replaced by silence. In this strange new atmosphere, all sounds and signs of life had simply vanished.

    In just moments, the silence consuming him had grown into an unfathomable stillness.

    Bill discovered that his existence had just been swallowed up by a darkness he had never experienced before. It had transformed itself into a heavy blanket of total black and seemed to be growing heavier as he wandered down a long, murky tunnel. At the end of the tunnel, a glint of light suggested movement. A slim figure appeared, watching him. This figure was much too far away for him to distinguish a face, but he was certain it was a woman-

    Laura's voice shattered his frightening journey.

    "Bill?"

    The darkness lightened, and a flurry of soft, faraway murmurings abruptly broke the heavy silence.

    "Bill?" A nudge of his forearm. "You okay?"

    The clinking of glasses made him start.   

    Snap to. Wake up.

    Soft laughter?

    Am I asleep?

    What the hell just happened?

    "Bill?" 

    Someone was shaking him.

    The darkness lifted. Soft, hazy lights appeared in the distance, highlighting something across the room.

    He shook himself. After taking a couple of deep breaths, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Someone was sitting near him. Someone close. Someone smelling of vanilla and Obsession. 

    It was Laura, and she looked frightened.

    "What's wrong? You having a heart attack?"

    Wake the hell up!

    His inner voice had become insistent, instilling a sort of blind panic within him. He knew that he should pay attention and pull himself together.

    He had to turn his back on that strange, uncomfortable darkness, once and for all. Otherwise, something terrible could happen.

    He rubbed his eyes, shook himself again, and waited for his vision to clear. The music came back. Then more laughter, followed by the clinking of glasses, which had grown louder. He took a deep breath, several deep breaths. 

    Laura was sitting very close, her face no more than three feet from his. Her large dark eyes were wide open; her lower lip trembled. She looked like someone who had just seen something frightening.

    "Are you all right?" he asked.

    She nearly gasped. "Are you serious?"

    "You look, well, like you're-"

    "You scared me half to death, and now you're asking me if I'm all right?"

    "Well?" He shrugged. "Are you?" 

    "No. Not at all!"

    "Good."

    "Whaddya mean, good?"

    "You don't look all right. Your skin's pale, and you're shaking."

    She shook her head. "There's a good reason for that, you know."

    "What's that?"

    "I just found out that I'm having a drink after work with a crazy guy, the same guy I've been sharing my bed with for the last six months?"

    He had no idea what she was talking about. The only thing that seemed to matter was what had happened just a few minutes ago. But just as his mind went back to it, he began wondering if what he had seen had really happened. 

    Or had he imagined it? 

    This was his second drink, after all. Granted, he'd been a seasoned drinker for the last ten years and knew from experience that he could down half a dozen strong ones before the stuff started affecting him. But at least he had a good excuse this time. It had been a rough day at the office, and since he'd had two strong belts at the luncheon a mere four hours ago, his resistance wasn't exactly up to par.

    Had he imagined what he thought had happened?

    Was the girl who had caught his eye still in the room?

    Or was it someone who looked like her?

    Was it Samantha?

    How could that be?

    Was it even possible?

    "Bill?"

    Damn. He'd gone zombielike again.

    "You're doing it again."

    "Huh?"

    "You're acting like a crazy person who lapses into some sort of weird mental state from one moment to the next, and I'm starting to think maybe I need to get you to a doctor to have him find out what's wrong. If I'm right, then I guess we'll have to make arrangements for you to?"

    He barely heard the rest of her statement. Before he realized what he was doing, he'd gotten up from his seat and was squeezing through the small groups that had gathered in front of the bar.

    More than a dozen women were talking to one another. Some were young while others were much older. Some sat at tables while others sat perched on barstools. Everyone appeared to be well-dressed. They were all professional people who worked in law and insurance offices on the upper floors of the building. 

    A small group just a few yards from the front entrance caught his attention. Three women and five guys, all well-dressed. He tried to remember what the girl who had caught his eye was wearing. All that registered was thick blond hair, large eyes, small, shapely breasts, and a slender figure.

    It definitely looked like Sam from the side.

    He reached the group of eight and, careful not to be obvious, approached the bar. He glanced to his right. Two of the women were probably in their thirties while the men all looked fortyish. The third girl was standing directly behind the tall, heavyset bald guy in the dark-blue double-breasted suit. Bill caught another glimpse of blond hair, but the moment her face was about to be revealed, the tall bald guy moved forward, hiding her from view.

    Bill edged closer to the bar and made a play for the bowl of cashews. Just as he grabbed a handful, the girl's face moved closer, but someone else shifted between them, obscuring his view once again.

    A moment later, the girl said something to the other women, and the three of them spun around and made their way for the restrooms at the far end of the room.

    Once again, his consciousness automatically lapsed into the same unfathomable darkness.

    Moments later, he began looking around. He had no idea that he'd even moved, but when reality finally returned, he discovered that he was staring dumbly at the door marked LADIES' ROOM. 

    He had obviously followed the women without realizing it.

    What the hell am I doing?

    More importantly, where do I go from here? 

    Do I just push open the door, walk inside, and pay them a visit?

    Then what? What do I give them as an excuse for invading their privacy? 

    He shook his head. He was acting like a total moron.

    "Whaddya doing now?" 

    Laura had apparently followed him over. She didn't look at all pleased. "Why are you standing here, staring at the ladies' room door?"

    He just sighed and waited for his heart rate to settle down. He had nothing to tell her. Nothing he could say would make him sound less like an idiot.

    "You're not?going in there, are you?"

    "Of course not." Her question sounded ridiculous, but he couldn't blame her for wondering-especially since she'd obviously been watching his every move. Even so, the situation made him angry, and he couldn't help lashing out at her.

    He really was an idiot. He was angry with himself for doing something totally ridiculous and yelling at Laura for asking him what he was doing.

    Laura shook her head. "I'm gonna need a cab, you know. I don't intend to stay here and wait for you to sober up. If you wanna know the truth, I'm gonna get awfully tired standing here, waiting to see whoever comes out of that room. I'll be curious to see what you'll do when that happens, but I guarantee that I'll be much more tired than curious by that time."

    "We can leave."

    "You're sure?"

    "I'm sure." He slipped away from the crowd and led the way to the front entrance.

    She caught up to him. "What were you doing, by the way? And what's happened to you? You're acting very strange."          

    "I thought I saw someone I once knew." He opened the door for her.

    "Some woman, obviously." She slipped by him.

    "Yes."

    "Someone you knew well?"

    "Very well."

    Laura was quiet as they went down the walk together.

    They approached his BMW, which was parked near the curb.

    "Was it serious?"

    He nodded.

    She was silent for several moments. "What happened?"

    He took a deep breath as he fiddled with his keys. "Too many things."

    "Like what?"

    "Life is what happened."

    She watched him as he reached around her and pulled open her door.

    She turned around. "Bill?"

    "What?"

    He could tell from her expression that she wanted more of an explanation.

    "Go ahead," he said. 

    "Can I ask more about her?"

    "I wish you wouldn't."

    "All I wanna know is-"

    "She's dead." He turned and circled the car.

    She watched him and waited until they were facing one another. "Then why did you act like that in there?"

    "I don't know."

    "How long has she been-"

    "Don't know that, either."

    "How do you even know she's dead, then?"

    "I was told."

    "Who told you?"

    "Someone who found out about it."

    "Someone reliable?"

    He opened his door. "My mother wouldn't lie about something like that."

    "Your mother?"

    He nodded.

    "But you still thought you saw her. And then you started acting weird."

    "Something like that."

    "Then you know that the girl you saw was probably just some doppelganger, right?"

    "Maybe."

    "What else could it be?"

    He didn't reply as he got in.

    "When did you know her?"

    "A long time ago."

    "How long?"

    He sat perfectly still, gripping the keys in his hand. "Twenty years."

    "Twenty years? You were a kid."

    "I know."

    "And you said it was serious?"

    He nodded.

    "How serious could this have possibly been?"

    "I would have married her if her family hadn't gotten in the way." 

*** 

    The drive to their Winter Park condo was spent in a tense silence.

    Worried and confused, Laura replayed their latest exchange over and over in her mind. With guys, she'd learned long ago that they seldom made much sense when a love from the past resurfaced. When this happened, they resorted to their former existence, often becoming incoherent and even silly. In a case like this, the situation had to run its course naturally. Conversation wouldn't solve this. Neither would threats or ultimatums.

    She had never had this problem before with Bill. The guy was every girl's dream. He had looks, charm, intelligence, a terrific sense of humor, great business sense, and the delightfully rare gift for knowing what he was doing regarding his bedroom antics. He'd had more affairs and one-night stands than most guys in their forty-plus years but had never been married. And after being with him for the last six months, she'd grown confident that she could coax him to change his wild ways and settle down, perhaps for keeps.

    She realized how it must have looked, her having what appeared to be a wild affair with her boss, who was seventeen years her senior. But she didn't care. She was happy and reasonably certain Bill was just as happy. Despite what many might say, she considered herself very lucky that her guy was just as active in the bedroom as any younger man she had previously been involved with.

    In her view, she had won the Lottery.

    Even so, she couldn't stop worrying about what had happened at the Paradise, and as they approached the last stretch of highway that led to their condo, she found that she was more determined than ever to find out what was going on. Only then could she concentrate on what she would have to do to get their relationship back to where it was.

    She knew she had to. She had to because she didn't want it happening again.

    There was no way she would let her man freak out over another woman.

    She found it very strange that it didn't matter at all that this other woman was dead.

*** 

    As Bill followed Laura down the hall leading to the kitchen, he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened at the bar.

    He'd seen Samantha. It was that simple. The fact that Sam had been dead for years didn't seem to matter. A woman looking very much like her walked past his table and, along with five well-dressed men-approach the bar, engaged in bar chatter for a few minutes, then turned around and with two other women disappeared in the ladies' room.

    He told himself that he shouldn't be agonizing over this. People resembled someone else everywhere these days. Thanks to cosmetic surgery, photoshopping, makeup and fashion trends, females with Sam's facial characteristics should be walking around in every city in every state in the country. Hairstyles made women look very similar. So did facial reconstruction. And cheek implants. And nose jobs.

    He saw no logical reason why he should be obsessing over any of this.

    But he was. It had happened, and he knew he couldn't stop it.

    He knew he couldn't stop this nonsense until he found out for sure.

    The only complication he could see was the slender brunette opening the cupboard and grabbing the bottle of Absolut Vodka from the shelf. And as he sat down at the kitchen table, he knew full well that she was not going to let this go.

    This had nothing to do with Laura or her mental insecurities. Laura was a gorgeous, intelligent, outgoing young woman. However, Bill knew women, and when it came to a past love popping up in the middle of a relationship, he knew full well that they would all react in the same manner.

    It took him less than thirty seconds for Laura to prove him right.

    Just as she put the bottle on the counter and went to get glasses and cubes, she said, "So tell me about it."

    He sighed tiredly, dropped his elbows on the table, and rubbed his temples. He knew how this would play out; he just didn't feel like getting into it right now. But he had no choice. Laura wasn't the type to let something like this go without an explanation.

    Still, he decided to remain vague. He saw no advantage in telling her everything. Not at ten-thirty on a Friday evening, anyway.

    "Tell you about what?"

    "The girl you saw at the Paradise." Laura dropped two cubes into each glass and brought them over. She splashed two inches of vodka into each glass and sat facing him. Her expression wasn't reassuring. He'd seen it before. Laura had a short fuse. And once it was lit, it burned very hot, remaining so for quite a while. "The one you freaked over. Don't you remember? You followed her all the way to the ladies' room-"

    "I already told you." He picked up his glass and downed the shot. The fire erupting in his throat relaxed him. He sat back in his chair and took a deep breath. Then he pushed the glass back at her and watched as she grabbed the bottle to pour him a refill.

    "You didn't tell me everything."

    "That's probably because I don't want to."

    "Why not?"

    "Why do you wanna know?"

    "You don't think I should?"

    "I'd just like to know why you're so interested. I told you the circumstances. The woman this girl resembles is dead. I've known about her death for years, but when I saw her come into the place, it kinda knocked me right out of my chair. Sounds simple, doesn't it? It's really nothing more than a normal reaction."

    "It does sound simple."

    "Then why in heaven's name are you so interested?"

    "Because of how it affected you. You freaked, and I mean totally. To me, it looked totally bizarre. Frightening, too. And it was anything but a normal reaction." She stared at him intensely. "You followed this woman to the bar, then to the restroom. The restroom. You-"

    "I know what I did, thanks. I was there, too."

    "Yes, Bill. You were there. But I honestly don't think you're totally aware of what you did. At least you didn't seem to be. Not at the time, anyway."

    "Really?"

    "I wouldn't lie."

    He knew she was getting too close to the bone, but he had no idea how he could possibly distract her. "What exactly did I do?"

    "While I was following you, I noticed that you weren't walking right. You were moving like some other person. It was like?like you were sleepwalking."

    "Sleepwalking?"

    "As I just said, you weren't walking as you usually walk."

    "How is that?"

    "Not like that?"

    He shook his head. "You're not telling me anything."

    "All I know is, it wasn't like you. Not at all."

    "Who was it like?"

    "Don't be funny. It just wasn't you."

    "Too bad you didn't pull out your cell and preserve it for prosperity. We could all watch it on You Tube years from now, when we're too old to stay up and watch a full-length movie."

    She groaned. "Don't make light of this, now."

    "I told you. A girl I used to know walked right past our table-"

    "Yes, Bill. A girl you used to know. A girl who happens to be dead."

    "It was her double. It looked just like her-"

    "You said doppelganger."

    "No, you said doppelganger."

    "It doesn't matter, does it? The fact is-"

    "It does matter-don't you think?"

    She sighed and stared at her half-empty glass. He could tell something else was on her mind. He also knew he was going to hear what it was very shortly.

    "Tell me something." She finished her drink.

    "All right?"

    "You don't know when she died, do you?"

    "Not exactly."

    "Can you at least tell me that it wasn't recently?"

    "As I recall, it's been years. Close to twenty, I imagine."

    "Okay. Did you get a good glimpse of that girl?"

    "You mean tonight?"

    "At the bar."

    He shrugged a shoulder. "I guess. Why?"

    "Could you tell how old she was?"

    "Not exactly. It was dark in there, you know?"

    "I know. But since it wasn't dark enough to hide her features, you could tell about how old she looked?right?"

    He hadn't thought of that before. His mind went back to his original glimpse of her. This was what got him thinking what he hadn't been thinking before. Was it because he had had too much to drink? Or had this girl's sudden appearance shocked him so much that logic had just vanished from his mind?

    "You're not fading away again, are you?"

    "I'm right here."

    "All right, then. How old did this girl look?"

    "Young." 

    "How young?"

    He shrugged. He didn't want to venture down this road.

    "C'mon, now. You can tell me. We know each other, right? I mean, we've been living together now for six months."

    He nodded.

    "How young, Bill?"

    He sighed tiredly. "Twenties, most likely."

    "Early twenties? Mid? Or-"

    He felt his nerves beginning to twinge. "Does it matter?"

    "Yes, Bill, it really matters."

    He shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

    "Early twenties? Mid? Or late?"

    "Early."

    "Like about my age?"

    He picked up his glass and dropped another swallow of strong vodka down his throat. "Younger."

    "Twenty, maybe? Or maybe even nineteen?"

    "If she were nineteen, she wouldn't have been in the bar in the first place."

    "We're just discussing our impressions. Nothing else."

    He didn't appreciate her putting all this under an X-ray. "Don't make me go there, all right?"

    "We're just talking, Bill."

    "Just talking? You're sure?"

    "I'm sure. Just you and me. No one else."

    "Nineteen, then."

    "Now?was that so hard?"

    "Very."

    "But now we know, don't we?"

    "Know what?"

    "We know that this girl you obsessed over back at the bar, this child you followed to the ladies' room, can't possibly be anything but someone else's daughter who resembles a woman you once had a fling with, back in the day."

    "It was more than a fling." He felt his back muscles stiffen against the padded back of the chair.

    Laura stopped talking and just stared at him.

    "Much more?" He took another breath and forced himself to relax.

    "How?much more, Bill?" Her voice had become a whisper again.

    He shook his head. Laura didn't have to know the extent of all this. It was bad enough that Sam's image had come back from the dead after all these years.

    "Bill?"

    "You don't-"

    "I need to know, Bill!"

    His pulse raced. He couldn't back out of this now. She'd called him on it. Now he had to show his hand. He took a deep breath and felt his pulse racing. "I wanted?I wanted to?to marry that girl."

    Laura didn't speak. Her dark eyes blazed.

    He suddenly wanted to tell her the rest. He hadn't wanted to travel this road, but she'd called it, and now he knew that he had to tell her. It would hurt and anger her. Hell, she might even want to move out after he told her. But she wanted to know, and he knew he could no longer protect her because she obviously didn't want protection. 

    "If her family hadn't gotten in the way, we would have definitely married one another."

    Silence.

    Laura sat stiffly, not moving. Her eyes continued to blaze. Then, after about a minute, she seemed to let all the air out of her lungs. "Then it really was a little more than a fling after all."

    "Yes."

    She waited for him to say more. When he didn't, she asked, "Is that all there is? Or is there more?"

    He didn't reply.

    "Bill?"

    He felt his pulse racing again.

    "I need to know!"

    He could barely look her in the eye. "Sam was the one true love of my life."