EXTRACT FOR
All Star Slut Auction
(Author Unknown)
Chapter 1
"Alter Reality is a wonderful thing. From the privacy and comfort of your communication center your vid screen can practically bring the action right where you live. Just watch this."
The zoom function was activated and in moments Todd Filler XVI thought he was standing beside a gurgling woodland brook. From the shapes of the trees and the odd color of the leaves it was probably from the recent colony located on Aldebaron 4. It was so realistic he could practically feel the spray as it splashed on the obsidian rocks. In the background he clearly heard sounds of wild creatures and the cries of scavenging birds.
The sales rep continued, "Here at Visions Interstellar we've conquered the difficulties of the time-space continuum to bring you any scene, any show from anywhere in the civilized galaxy virtually instantaneously. What do you think?"
Todd asked, "Any show at all?"
The salesman gave Todd a patronizing smile. "Precisely and from anywhere. We've even been able to obtain broadcasts from previous centuries. As you know the various types of communication waves are basically traveling at the speed of light and our new equipment is so sensitive and artificially intelligent that these archaic shows can still be reviewed and enjoyed. We even have some very ancient early material even as far back as from the twentieth century."
Todd asked with a blank look on his face. "Oh really when was that?"
"Oh about two thousand years ago. Have you ever seen such classics as "The Lone Ranger" or "The Adventures of Robin Hood? Or how about "All In the Family?"
Todd shook his head. "Never heard of those."
The sales rep gives Todd Filler a deprecating look as if to say why must I put up with such air headed cultureless dolts. He sighs and goes on. "The human race was quite barbaric then as you can imagine. Why in those dark times, women actually had to start a revolution to get an equal piece of the pie. Of course as you well know we've come a long way since then and solved a lot of problems through genetic engineering since those exceptionally primitive times."
Todd interjects, "I should know, our family has been involved with Genetek Unlimited for four generations. It's amazing what can be done."
The sales rep smiles, "Well this model is quite reasonable considering."
Todd bites, "How much?"
"25,000 credits including all applicable taxes, freight and delivery charges. We can have this magnificent model in your home by seven this evening."
Plastic money was one of the few lasting legacies from that barbaric twentieth century that the sales person had alluded to. Of course the modern credit card has infrared identifiers so if an ineligible person tries to use somebody else's card all kinds of alarms go off and a pleasant smelling perfume is emitted, immediately immobilizing the miscreant until the proper authorities can be summoned. Between a healthy economy, constant colonial expansion and genetics, crime is practically unheard of in any case. It's only unscrupulous sales persons and politicians and the occasional lawyer that has to be watched.
"Does this come with a guarantee?"
The rep stifled a sarcastic retort as if Todd had asked the most idiotic question in the known galaxy. "Of course sir, we guarantee parts and labor for two interstellar years" (approximately 900 earth days). Of course Todd would know that but we realize there are many under educated cretins out there that might be attempting to read through this narrative. But be patient the best is definitely yet to cum.
Todd raises his eyebrows slightly, "That seems a bit short. Especially when things seem to fall apart just as soon as the warranty expires."
"You are the shrewd one sir. Well you can purchase an extended warranty for an extra interstellar year for just 500 credits. (This is an additional 450 terrene days for all you intellectual pigmies out there.
Todd sighs, "All right I'll take the A. R. unit along with the extended warranty. Here's my card." Again for all you genius types out there, A. R. stands for Alter Reality. As you might have guessed there isn't much time for good manners or subtlety in a fast paced interstellar society. 4107 C.E. is the NOW generation. Everything must be done and delivered last week. Computers tend to be more intelligent than the persons that try to program them and this does cause some interesting problems but that's not what you salivating letches are interested in reading about, are you?
Todd lives on a relatively new colony on Deneb 4. This mostly desert world is quite a boring place when you get right down to it. It's great for genetic research because there aren't any liberal, bleeding heart special interest groups to interfere and fuck up progress. Mistakes or miscalculations are easy to dispose of. Ravaging bands of sand leaches can dispose of an average body in about three minutes if they are sufficiently hungry and they are always sufficiently hungry. The data obtained from these highly secretive labs is then sent to other labs on the inner worlds for more serious study and implementation. But what does a highly paid researcher do for those titillating urges that only the right kind of foxy female can possibly satisfy? Obviously Todd can't hit on an already socially contracted research colleague who has an I.Q of 189 and can see right through any line ever invented by any hot male from any century. Besides the scientist she is contracted (married) to will get pissed off if some low life lab tech starts doing his social companion on the side. Todd was training to be a full-fledged scientist of course but he was only 22 with comfortable but not exceptional means. He'd been saving his credits for this A R unit because he'd heard about "THE AUCTION". It was known as ASSA or the All Star Slut Auction.
To make matters worse, Deneb has virtually no available single women. Most are contracted to their partners or in simpler language married. From Todd's perspective the few available ladies are two argumentative and intelligent for his more rustic tastes. Todd isn't sure why this is the case. Did he accidentally inherit some random gene from the Paleolithic period?
He hadn't been laid in almost six weeks and it hadn't been all that great anyway. Ella Stamen was his supervisor and his rarely occasional bedmate. It seemed to Todd she was always in a fucking hurry and her attentions were fast, furious and definitely at her beck and call. The last time they'd been together, she'd reached her blissful moment in about ten minutes and sullenly lay there like a corpse waiting for him to finish. "Don't call me Todd, I'll call you." These were the last words he'd heard from Ella just before the sliding door made her disappear from view. He still grimaced to think of it. The bitch had actually been watching the chronometer as it slowly clicked off the seconds on her bedroom wall. When the ordeal was over she'd commented, 15 minutes and 12 seconds. It really is too, too much! I thought you were a virile man but you're far too slow. You've just fucked up my schedule."
I did say it was a fast paced environment, didn't I? The saying of the day is flirt, squirt and dessert. Todd wondered what it must be like to be contractually bound to such a creature as that. Clearly Ella and others of her ilk were not the answer. These over educated, super intelligent bitches are a little more approachable if you use the blunt, direct approach. Don't use a subtle line like "Hi good lookin' what's cookin'." This will just lead to a derisive sneer at best and a fingernail raking slap at worst. Your best bet is, "Would you like an exciting session of sexual intercourse?" After such a leading question, there is one of four possible answers. If you get a yes, you get your ten-minute quickie. It gives new meaning to the old archaic phrase, "Wham! Bam! Thank you Ma'am!" Then of course the second reply could be "perhaps." This means that she might reconsider your offer in a few weeks when her current project is completed, maybe. The third possibility is a simple "No." If it's said with a faint tone of regret it means not for the foreseeable future but you might try again in a year or so. This of course can be anytime between 365 and 450 days depending on whether you are going by Terrene time or interstellar time. The fourth answer is the most interesting. "Fuck off!" This means that this bitch would not permit you to shoot your nourishing juicy cock milk into her relatively dry anal or vaginal cavities if you were literally the last male available in, on or near the entire Milky Way.
So what is our horny hero to do? It was a small very restrictive colony. He'd just have to import a suitable playmate and it would take luck, a lot of credits and patience. I realize this is a relatively short chapter but I think the stage has been properly set. We have the means for Todd to finally get his clutches on a very hot piece with that A R unit he has just purchased. We have motive. The sex drive in a deprived male is definitely one of the strongest motivations in the known universe. We have a frustrated, pent up sex-starved dick with nowhere to get off into at the moment.
Oh well life is tough even in 4107 C.E. I used to write A.D. but critics have told me this is no longer politically correct. I guess the new concept is that God doesn't deserve to have his name associated with time measurement designations such as years. My comment is why not? He created time didn't he? But we are the helpless slaves to convention. I just don't have the intestinal fortitude to endure some lawyer bastard with squinted eyes and a marked Jewish accent to call me up and say "Mister Buster, all the atheists have lodged a class action law suit against you for putting A.D. into your books. You put it in Angelica Chained and it has sparked a human cry around the planet. How could you possibly be so insensitive and stupid? Actually I did put A. D. in Angelica Chained but don't tell anybody. I might just get lucky and get the fuck away with it. Besides if you turn me in I won't be able to tell you all the disgusting, sordid, depraved acts that Todd is going to end up doing with some hot, bimbo bitch with a sex drive as searing as the core of the star Orion. Stay tuned!